New Year, New Time with God

As the new year started I began to think "I didn't make any new year resolutions. I didn't make any promises to myself or my family or my partner". I decided to not make promises but life style changes. Over the holidays my PPD set back in and I was fighting it hard, doing my best not to sink back into it like I had in those early weeks after having my daughter. I had something this time I didn't have then and I wasn't using it. I needed more God in my life, more time dedicated to him focused on him.

I go to Church every Sunday and starting again this week I will have my women's bible study to go to on Wednesday mornings. But that hasn't felt like enough two days for an hour or so isn't enough time to give myself over to him and his word. I needed to make more time... looking at my house and my kids I tried to figure out when can I give him the time he deserves without the distractions.

"Until I come, devote yourself to the public reading of the Scripture, to exhortation, to teaching."(1 Timothy 4:13)

I decided I will get up an hour before the kids normally wake up and have that time for me. I will get up and for my mental health I will get dressed brush my teeth and brush my hair. The last couple of months if I didn't have anywhere to go I would go days without brushing my hair wear the same clothes for two days. I don't need to put on a bra and jeans but I need to put on some comfy leggings or sweats that are clean and a new shirt. If I do this I start my day feeling better and as silly as it seems accomplished in the first 15 minutes of waking up.

I also decided to set aside 20 minutes to moving my body in the morning. Now my go to is to go for a walk. But doing it before the kids are up and also right now where I live its in the negatives, going for walks is kind of out of the question. So I found a couple short work out videos nothing crazy most of them are honestly stretching for half the video but something to wake my body up.

Lastly the real reason for getting up early is to have time with God in the morning. I set aside 30 minutes to read his word, to pray, to work in a prayer journal what ever speaks to me that morning. I have a set Bible study I go to once a week that we study a specific topic but I wanted time to do what ever felt right. Maybe that morning it just feels like I need to pray and talk to God for the whole 30 mins or maybe I work on my homework for Bible study. What every it is as long as I'm being immersed in and spending time with God.

Now this all looks good in the app I downloaded to make me accountable and organize my life for the new year. But I ran into a problem fast. I have a baby, a breast fed baby that does not sleep through the night. I also have an 3 year old that is autistic and does not sleep through the night, some nights I am up every hour between the two of them. So the problem would be in the mornings my alarm would go off and I maybe had 4 hours of broken up sleep and I just couldn't convince myself that sleeping one more hour wasn't the best possible idea.

I make it a point even on those days when we do finally stumble out of the bedroom in the morning no matter what time, I get the kids settled. Diaper off the 3 year old, diaper change for the baby, bowl of cereal and cartoons for the 3 year old. Then I get dressed I brush my hair and my teeth. Then I pull out my bible or journal or whatever it is that I feel I need that morning and I set a timer on my phone for 30 minutes. Any time the baby needs to be rolled back over or the 3 year old needs more cereal or what ever it may be I pause my timer because I am not going to give up my time with God, he still gets me for 30 minutes even if it is broken up.

Now I have had to become OK with my day starting at noon some days. My chores may stack up a little more. But I make time for him and me and that is how I am pulling myself back up out of this PPD hole that is trying to suck me in.

"Cast all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you."(Psalm 34:18)